Did you know?
Two in six women and two in eight men experience abuse in their
lifetime?
Abuse is one of the most pressing human and societal problems.
Either domestic, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, mental, physical
and more.
Abuse is subtle and it is sneaky. Most abusers are cunning and
manipulative. They are aware of what’s going on and what they are doing. Most people
abuse to gain control or power over their spouses or partners.
Over 60% of cases in the family courts involve ‘domestic
abuse.’
Most marriages and relationships are going through a different type of abuse;
some blame it on culture but Abuse can never be justified by cultural norms.
Cultural beliefs shouldn’t be an excuse for inflicting pain or fear upon others.
There is a difference between a person who hurts
you by making a mistake,
and a person who hurts you by continuing a pattern.
Mistakes can be forgiven. Patterns must be broken. – Ella Hicks
And one thing to put into mind is; it’s not always women who
are abused, sometimes it’s the opposite way around. Women belittle men every
day, they insult them, use them as punching bags and blame them for everything
going wrong in the women’s life.
I have met abused women and men who swore not to leave their
marriage or relationship certainly because they either made an investment with
their spouse or partner or they have children together. They don’t realize that
Abuse is a pattern of negative behaviour and it eventually continues; it may be
passed down through generations.
Choosing to stay with an abusive partner solely for the sake of keeping the
family together might seem like a selfless act, but in reality, it can inflict
deep and lasting wounds on everyone involved leading to ‘Mental problems.’
When a victim is in an abusive situation, they tend not to
think about the long-term effect such acts may have on them, they just try to
survive one day at a time. The long-term effect of abuse is trauma.
Trauma responses can be so loud, intense and pervasive to the extent that it’s
often hard to notice the subtle and calmness cues coming from your intuition.
Trauma is kept alive in our bodies, fuelled by our thoughts. And when one
experiences trauma, the details are imprinted on the memory and emotional
centres of their brains, changing how they interact with everyone.
BROKEN
PIECES FROM KOLA (DOMESTIC ABUSE)
He threw my body to the ground
choked me
punched me
pushed me into walls.
He tore my heart
as he tore my clothes.
He robbed me off my peace.
Family scorns me.
I should stay
I should bear the burden
I should carry it well
and not bring shame
to the house and the clan.
But;
Abusing me is never the way
my honour is not yours to take.
It's not weak to speak or ask for help, it’s actually the
biggest sign of strength. People may never understand your personal pain or
trauma, but they can love you with all they have through it all. HEAL.
You can never pour from an empty cup!
Fill up your cup so you can expand
your nervous system’s capacity for growth,
healing and living your best.
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