LIVIA'S BOOKLET

I normally don't let people in my space, But when it came to you, it was all different. "How is it that you fit so perfectly in my mind?" I want to love you like there's no tomorrow, And when tomorrow comes,  I will love you all over again - Forever. There's no place that I won't go to find you on this earth, I will walk miles to find you. Just like wine and roses, You truly complete me; Never did I understand what true love is until I had you in my space. I will be your lover in sin and virtue from across lifetime.

I do not know if this is the end of the chapter or you will return later, Neither do I know if this is the end of the story and we get to close the book, But; What I surely know is; I am taking most of the things you said in secret to the grave with me. I have learnt that; “Sometimes, what you want so badly isn’t yours. You drive yourself crazy trying to perfect yourself to be worthy of a dream-a person and end up frustrated when you can’t achieve or claim it all. I have been loved by someone I didn’t love; a love unreturned. I have loved someone who never loved me back; a love without reciprocation. And I realized that; You can’t fix people who are broken. You just can’t decide to carry their hurt as if it’s yours. Sometimes, the ‘right person’ is the ‘wrong person’ but you just don’t realize  this until they leave.

“I will scream hope to the sky Maybe the echo of my voice will be written in the clouds for me to read.” I have grown tired of seeking light. I have grown tired of hearing “Tomorrow will be better.” What if it doesn’t? What Will I do? The answers I never got, turned out to be some of life’s biggest lessons. I choose to be hopeful. ~ Kapare

“I look up to heaven like I want to leave the earth. What are the reasons for my stay?” Immerse grief, there is no escape from the earth over it. They say; “grief is the chisel and your soul is the sculpture, what was once important shatters into a thousand pieces.” Surely, we will all experience grief in this lifetime, we will all be obliterated by loss. They say grief is the price we pay for loving and allowing ourselves to care deeply for the things in this world that are finite and momentary. Grief splits you into two at the end of the day. I read somewhere that said; “There is a part of you that is truly taken to the limits of sadness when you have all of this love, all of these plans, these memories of someone who was so precious, so deeply valued, so important-and they’re gone.” I have looked for your name in books. I buy things that resemble everything you ever cherished. I glance at people that have a shape of you. I look for any sign that tells me you are not gone an

There’s Proditiophobia in me. Yes, that’s the word I captured to be my problem. “The fear of being betrayed by someone you love.” People often say; “A good heart is always happy.” Unlike me, I think a good heart gets hurt very badly because it expects only good things from others. That’s exactly who I am. I expect too much from the people I love and I end up being hurt. Most of us always dream about a love that lasts forever. The love we hold can never be buried by six feet of soil. Its broad and incomparable. I am telling my story because if my fears happen to me, it will kill my worthiness. I love Timve. Deep within, my heart beats strong for her and can’t let go but the other part of me is not strong to say the right words to her “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” I am afraid of the disgrace that may come if I pop the question and I don’t have an idea of where and how I should say it to her. They say; “Marriage is so beautiful when you do it right.” Yet still, I read somewhere that said

“As you leave; leave me with a heart that learns not to wait for your return.” Those words kept lingering in my head over and over again for years. The ache within me of how Nditha got off me was what I couldn’t handle. I repeatedly assured myself that whatever was going on Nditha wasn’t a part of it. Perhaps it was just his family scheming over me to leave their son. They never really liked me from the very start. They said I was too young for their son. But love found us and we wanted each other; how about now? What happened to us? His uncles had come with a message for my uncles. The dowry they paid on my head must be returned since there was no marriage. They gave us three weeks to finalize the whole arrangements. I stood on my ground to say my marriage was still on until Nditha spoke to me himself but he never did. My family returned the bride price; I was told to move out of the house we had bought together; they said I had no child for them thus I had no right to the house

I don’t know why people are afraid to talk about grief with each other, but, one thing they don’t tell you is how grief will turn you madly inward. The season of heartache is slow to fade, but just as the leaves shall grow again, hope shall take its place in the hearts of those who have suffered grief. “I married early” as most people put it. I was nineteen when I met Ndikha. A loving and caring man, he understood me the most and was ready to give his all for me. I didn’t want to waste time, when he proposed- I accepted. I moved in with him and we began our ‘happily ever-after.’ I swear, he was my world. My In and Out. I loved how he could find the sun amidst the storm. I knew I had found the right man and a perfect father for our soon-to-come kids. Two years down the line, a lot of things had changed for us. We had grown fond of each other and were getting successful. Ndikha was always sweet, he was the character in a dream which I didn’t wish to wake up from. Towards the end of

Anything else, a happy-healthy life is everything one needs. (All characters and events appearing in this article are fictitious. Any resemblances to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.) I read somewhere that said “love changes you.” But often, it changes you so much that you get to accept things and live in situations you are not supposed to live by. In my youth I was told that; “love is an action and not the feeling you get in your stomach when you see the other person. It’s not how into them you are but to love someone means to take care of them – to show them that you feel for them.” I quote a piece in the book ‘Dear self’ which simply signified the situation I have been; “Sometimes, it doesn’t work out and this ends up being the best thing that could happen to you. sometimes, the ‘right person’ was the wrong one all along but you didn’t realise this.” Yes, I firmly agree. I have only read husband abuse stories in books and seen story headlines on TV,

Lately, I have had a lot of concerns of how things are going to unfold for me. I have been stressed about the future, the stress weighs on me a lot but, I keep constantly reminding myself that it will all unfold and I sit in thankfulness over it. So, just felt to send love to all who are finding balance between what’s hard and what’s right – what to do. Anything else, a happy-healthy life is what we all need. There’s so much I hope for you all in this journey; I hope you grow and glow, I hope you learn to let go I hope you find peace, self-acceptance and overcome all the things that are stunting your growth and healing. Most importantly; I hope you find a safe haven that makes you melt and makes you forget all that hurts – that’s “what to do!”

  Dearest Aku This is probably the thirteenth letter I am writing to you ever since you left. The third in this year. In the few months that I didn’t write to you, I have learnt that; “There are indeed people out there who would go to the end of the earth for you; There are people out there who genuinely want the absolute best for you.” I have also learnt that; “There’s always a need to slow down and be gentle with oneself, for every season serves a different purpose.” I wish to have said “Take me back to the time when pain was unknown to me and my heart didn’t ache; where we were you and I; where we didn’t pretend to be strangers.” But you have removed me from your life so easily and so quickly and I am training my heart to accept disappointments even from the people I love. I believe “Our love was never wrong, the timing was” and for that I write this letter to wish you well; “May you never again get attached to anyone who isn’t for you; May you find a love that makes you lau

Ev ery woman deserves a loving, peaceful and gentle birth experience. The way you give birth matters. The way you feel while giving birth matters. Maternal mortality is the death of a woman while pregnant or within 42 days of termination of pregnancy irrespective of the duration and the site of the pregnancy from any cause related to or aggravated by the pregnancy or its management. Study has it that maternal mortality refers to deaths due to complications from childbirth. For every one maternal death, there are 75 to 100 more women that suffer a life-threatening complication during pregnancy or childbirth. And that a woman dies every two minutes due to pregnancy or childbirth. Maternal mortality is a public health crisis. Let’s foster conversations, raise awareness and work towards a future where safe delivery is safeguarded as a fundamental right.

“The simplest things always speak louder than words ever will.” These are the exact words that have kept repeating in my head. I have made a catastrophic mistake and it has blown all over my face. I keep asking myself what at all have I done to myself and how to resolve it all. There’s so much hatred within myself- I wish to have had the power to turn back the hands of time and start all over again. ********************************************* Ken and I first met when he came to do a bulk deposit at our bank branch and I happened to be the teller on duty in the bulk deposits room that week. We exchanged greetings and talked a little as I served him. He recommended my services to be faster and friendlier than my colleague John. I liked the compliment. Since then, whenever he came through to make deposits, he made sure to see me. We became friends. He got more open and invited me out for lunch one Wednesday but I couldn't make it due to my busy schedule that week. We po

I have been trying to avoid this topic but for some reasons, I can’t stop thinking about the people who go day by day without being loved or cared for. I can’t stop thinking about those people who are waiting and hoping to be loved. I write this for all those who are on the wait, to gently remind them that they will be okay even if they don’t believe they will. I remember years ago, I wrote a love letter, hoping the words would convince my receiver of my true love for him. He wrote back to me plainly “ find someone who would love you the way you deserve to be loved. You are far too kind for me; you need someone who will reciprocate .” Getting over such a note required hours-days filled with tears and heartache to get the meaning. He broke parts of me which I am unable to fix. It’s a good thing he responded in his own honest capacity. Sometimes, some things are not meant to work out, no matter how much you want them to. Sometimes, you get exhausted from fighting for love to stay

This has been the hardest episode on #letsbreakthesilence to write about. I have been thinking a lot about these terms’ ‘survivor’ and ‘thriver.’ They are frequently used in the cancer community. And as someone who witnessed a cancer experience, I find myself dissecting and deconstructing the use of the terms. How about we use the word ‘rebel’ as @saralous.writes put it. Cancer is a disease caused by the uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in the body. This abnormal cell growth can damage normal cells around it and in other parts of the body. The effects of cancer disease can be devastating, and it’s important to stay informed about its risks and prevention. A minority of cancers are due to inherited genetic mutations. Most cancers are related to environmental, lifestyle or behavioural exposures. Cancer is a disease that everyone can suffer from. And there are different types of cancer. ·        Bowel cancer ·        Bone cancer ·        Bladder cancer ·        Bra