WHAT DO WE DO PIECES FROM CHATHU

Anything else, a happy-healthy life is everything one needs.

(All characters and events appearing in this article are fictitious. Any resemblances to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)

I read somewhere that said “love changes you.” But often, it changes you so much that you get to accept things and live in situations you are not supposed to live by.
In my youth I was told that; “love is an action and not the feeling you get in your stomach when you see the other person. It’s not how into them you are but to love someone means to take care of them – to show them that you feel for them.”

I quote a piece in the book ‘Dear self’ which simply signified the situation I have been; “Sometimes, it doesn’t work out and this ends up being the best thing that could happen to you. sometimes, the ‘right person’ was the wrong one all along but you didn’t realise this.” Yes, I firmly agree.

I have only read husband abuse stories in books and seen story headlines on TV, I thought it was all a joke until the incident came knocking at my door.

Adena and I have been married for barely a year. At the time of our wedding, I was earning times three than her, there was a big project in the company I am working at and it was paying so well. I made sure I met all her needs and that of her family and I never complained of it. I was glad to be a helpful hand to her and her family thinking that she was the woman after my heart.
During our relationship, we had disagreements which I timely viewed as normal arguments all couples had. She has always been hot tempered even with her friends. In short; she really doesn’t keep a large circle of friends.

I greatly know we may not get a chance to build every second of our life with every person we love, but somehow, with every passing day – we feel our lives being built around their affection. Adena was affectionate and lovely the most time of our relationship and maybe thats what made me draw closer to her and proposed marriage. I had the mindset of “she will be okay, she will change. She’s just being provoked.”

A few months down the marriage journey, we kept falling apart. Adena got a promotion which came with a salary increment, a huge package of benefits and bonuses. She is above me as she now earns more than I do. She would always refer to my salary as peanuts. Petty money that can’t even buy her dream car. At first, I took it as all jokes until she constantly kept repeating those words and they began to hurt. She stopped asking me for opinions neither included me in her decision making or plans. She always come with results just to let me know of whatever outcome she had at hand. From purchasing plots of lands to building houses, buying luxuries and her endless trips to Paris, Moscow, Rome and around the rest of the world. My wife is a big girl now.

They say; “love yourself enough to only stay in the relationships where your energy is valued, never allow others to treat you like a back-up and never settle for less, you deserve a love overflowing with integrity and respect.”
I have tried my best to keep our marriage in the right space keeping in mind how people see you when there’s a failed marriage.

“Society is the collective manifestation of the unconsciousness, when you do everything in life for the society you end up losing yourself.”
I am losing myself in the hands of the woman I married just because I want to maintain the idea of a ‘happily married man’ in front of the society.
My wife timely uses abusive words on me, there’s no obscene word she hasn’t uttered on me. The career shaming and name calling even in the presence of our house servants is her daily routine. She turns red whenever she sees fit. She throws things at me at a slightest provocation or confrontation. She doesn’t want me to go against her idea and decision in the house.
What even beats me the most is how our love-making routine has entirely changed. We have it when she wants and not the other way round. Sex with her is no longer as pleasurable as it used to be in the early weeks of our marriage. She directs me where to touch her and how to touch her. As if that’s not enough, Adena comes home at odd hours, she always says her new position is too demanding and she can’t afford to compromise her career with ‘us’.

Michelle Dempsey wrote; “Divorce is hard, so is staying in a marriage where you’re quietly dying inside. Starting over is hard, so is never knowing what other opportunities you might find or what kind of true fulfilment is out there waiting for you and Co-parenting and not seeing your kids everyday is hard, so is raising children around constant tension, marital strife and self-abandonment for the sake of their happiness.”

Unfortunately, amidst all the arguments, my wife got pregnant. She didn’t directly break the news to me but I found the pregnancy test kit in the bathroom and it showed positive. I patiently have been waiting for her to share the good news with me but to my surprise, it’s been two weeks, she has said no word to me. I have been contemplating on asking her over it but at the same time, I am scared of what her response would be. What if the baby is no longer growing inside her? What if it was a damaged kit and the result was wrong? I am in dilemma; I am so afraid of the woman I married myself. The thoughts of divorce have been creeping through my mind but in everything what if indeed she’s pregnant? I don’t want my child to be born and grow up with separated parents neither do I want my child be raised in a broken home ~ What Do I Do?