Anything else, a happy-healthy life is everything one needs.
(All
characters and events appearing in this article are fictitious. Any
resemblances to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)
I read somewhere that said “love changes you.” But often, it
changes you so much that you get to accept things and live in situations you
are not supposed to live by.
In my youth I was told that; “love is an action and not the feeling you get in
your stomach when you see the other person. It’s not how into them you are but
to love someone means to take care of them – to show them that you feel for
them.”
I quote a piece in the book ‘Dear self’ which simply signified
the situation I have been; “Sometimes, it doesn’t work out and this ends up
being the best thing that could happen to you. sometimes, the ‘right person’
was the wrong one all along but you didn’t realise this.” Yes, I firmly agree.
I have only read husband abuse stories in books and seen story
headlines on TV, I thought it was all a joke until the incident came knocking
at my door.
Adena and I have been married for barely a year. At the time of
our wedding, I was earning times three than her, there was a big project in the
company I am working at and it was paying so well. I made sure I met all her
needs and that of her family and I never complained of it. I was glad to be a
helpful hand to her and her family thinking that she was the woman after my
heart.
During our relationship, we had disagreements which I timely viewed as normal
arguments all couples had. She has always been hot tempered even with her friends.
In short; she really doesn’t keep a large circle of friends.
I greatly know we may not get a chance to build every second of
our life with every person we love, but somehow, with every passing day – we feel
our lives being built around their affection. Adena was affectionate and lovely
the most time of our relationship and maybe thats what made me draw closer to
her and proposed marriage. I had the mindset of “she will be okay, she will
change. She’s just being provoked.”
A few months down the marriage journey, we kept falling apart.
Adena got a promotion which came with a salary increment, a huge package of
benefits and bonuses. She is above me as she now earns more than I do. She would
always refer to my salary as peanuts. Petty money that can’t even buy her dream
car. At first, I took it as all jokes until she constantly kept repeating those
words and they began to hurt. She stopped asking me for opinions neither included
me in her decision making or plans. She always come with results just to let me
know of whatever outcome she had at hand. From purchasing plots of lands to
building houses, buying luxuries and her endless trips to Paris, Moscow, Rome
and around the rest of the world. My wife is a big girl now.
They say; “love yourself enough to only stay in the
relationships where your energy is valued, never allow others to treat you like
a back-up and never settle for less, you deserve a love overflowing with
integrity and respect.”
I have tried my best to keep our marriage in the right space keeping in mind
how people see you when there’s a failed marriage.
“Society is the collective manifestation of the unconsciousness,
when you do everything in life for the society you end up losing yourself.”
I am losing myself in the hands of the woman I married just because I want to
maintain the idea of a ‘happily married man’ in front of the society.
My wife timely uses abusive words on me, there’s no obscene word she hasn’t
uttered on me. The career shaming and name calling even in the presence of our
house servants is her daily routine. She turns red whenever she sees fit. She throws
things at me at a slightest provocation or confrontation. She doesn’t want me
to go against her idea and decision in the house.
What even beats me the most is how our love-making routine has entirely changed.
We have it when she wants and not the other way round. Sex with her is no
longer as pleasurable as it used to be in the early weeks of our marriage. She directs
me where to touch her and how to touch her. As if that’s not enough, Adena
comes home at odd hours, she always says her new position is too demanding and
she can’t afford to compromise her career with ‘us’.
Michelle Dempsey wrote; “Divorce is hard, so is staying in a
marriage where you’re quietly dying inside. Starting over is hard, so is never
knowing what other opportunities you might find or what kind of true fulfilment
is out there waiting for you and Co-parenting and not seeing your kids everyday
is hard, so is raising children around constant tension, marital strife and
self-abandonment for the sake of their happiness.”
Unfortunately, amidst all the arguments, my wife got pregnant. She
didn’t directly break the news to me but I found the pregnancy test kit in the
bathroom and it showed positive. I patiently have been waiting for her to share
the good news with me but to my surprise, it’s been two weeks, she has said no
word to me. I have been contemplating on asking her over it but at the same
time, I am scared of what her response would be. What if the baby is no longer growing
inside her? What if it was a damaged kit and the result was wrong? I am in dilemma;
I am so afraid of the woman I married myself. The thoughts of divorce have been
creeping through my mind but in everything what if indeed she’s pregnant? I don’t
want my child to be born and grow up with separated parents neither do I want my
child be raised in a broken home ~ What Do I Do?
Comments
Post a Comment