There’s Proditiophobia in me. Yes, that’s the word I captured
to be my problem.
“The fear of being betrayed by someone you love.”
People often say; “A good heart is always happy.” Unlike me, I
think a good heart gets hurt very badly because it expects only good things
from others. That’s exactly who I am. I expect too much from the people I love
and I end up being hurt.
Most of us always dream about a love that lasts forever. The love
we hold can never be buried by six feet of soil. Its broad and incomparable.
I am telling my story because if my fears happen to me, it will kill my worthiness.
I love Timve. Deep within, my heart beats strong for her and
can’t let go but the other part of me is not strong to say the right words to
her “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” I am afraid of the disgrace that may come if I pop the
question and I don’t have an idea of where and how I should say it to her.
They say; “Marriage is so beautiful when you do it right.” Yet
still, I read somewhere that said; “Sometimes, even if we feel a connection
with someone it’s okay not to pursue it, finding the right person isn’t just
about the bond or chemistry, the situation and timing have to align too.”
Another thing that has me write this piece is what I read in
Timve’s diary; “The love in marriage is not just a feeling, it is a decision, a
commitment, a giving of oneself for the good of the other.” I read the
statement more than ten times and I just couldn’t understand what her point was,
adding to my fears. What Do I Do? Do I go on and propose to her?
You know? “Some people want love, but don’t know how to love. Love
is both a feeling and an action. We timely think a feeling is enough to fulfil
us. We assume that emotions will evoke action but the truth is, love is not the
feeling you get in your stomach; It is the essence found in it.
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