Skip to main content

WHAT DO WE DO PIECES FROM MAIRO ~ 2

“As you leave; leave me with a heart that learns not to wait for your return.”
Those words kept lingering in my head over and over again for years.

The ache within me of how Nditha got off me was what I couldn’t handle.
I repeatedly assured myself that whatever was going on Nditha wasn’t a part of it. Perhaps it was just his family scheming over me to leave their son. They never really liked me from the very start. They said I was too young for their son. But love found us and we wanted each other; how about now? What happened to us?

His uncles had come with a message for my uncles. The dowry they paid on my head must be returned since there was no marriage. They gave us three weeks to finalize the whole arrangements. I stood on my ground to say my marriage was still on until Nditha spoke to me himself but he never did.
My family returned the bride price; I was told to move out of the house we had bought together; they said I had no child for them thus I had no right to the house. They practically took everything we had earned since we got married. My mother told me to just let it go.

“Have courage to let go of people who leave your heart confused. Let go of waiting for people you have always treated kindly to treat you kindly.”

Nine years down the line, I still didn’t hear anything from Nditha. Rumours had it that he was seeing another woman a year after we got married and she was the one who invited him to Seychelles – they got married and he didn’t see the reason to keep me.

I worked hard in everything I did. Not because I had to but because my life depended on it. Nditha left when I was in my third year. The whole incident took a toil on me and I had a repeat semester. When I got back to class, I focused.
I let go of “failing in love with potential and failing in love with the idea of someone rather than who they truly are and holding my breath, hoping for things to change.” I realized I was the key to the change I needed.

In the space of nine years, I have achieved a lot. My academic journey is heavy and I am established. The company I work for celebrates and values me thus I have benefits and bonuses, properties and investments attached to my name.

“I am made of grace and favour, flowers and diamonds, power and strength. I am unbreakable.”
That has been my motto all the way.

On my thirtieth birthday, I was highly celebrated. I had my family, friends, colleagues  and business associates turning up for me and it was all beautiful.

Just at the time when I blew my candles, the last person I wish to see showed up.
He came wearing a smile; “the nerve he had!” “The audacity!” I wonder what made him think he was welcomed to the party.

“A real man faces you and spills what’s making his heart beat fast. A real man nurtures you and doesn’t run like a coward. A real man will grow with you and communicate properly. When things get bad, a real man will try to make things work, keeping both of you in mind. A real man is about his woman-about making her feel safe, empowered and well protected.” I said that to his face.

He shouldn’t have shown his face to my party. Of all the days he thought best to come on that day to reconcile and talk gibberish.
He’s back with a luggage of stories and folktales. How he wasn’t aware of what his family did to me. He claims he is ignorant of everything; he has been sending me money through his mother; Really? Who does that in this era?
Nditha is back with a bag-full of apologies and excuses and I do not know either to believe it all or blush him off and focus on what I have built. What Do We Do?

 

 

 

 

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting and letting go of what the other person did, rather, it is saying I want to make space for more love not less.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

AWAKENING: STORIES UNTOLD, STORIES UNHEARD AND STORIES UNREAD

Correct me if I am wrong, but I remember all the words you like to say behind closed doors. She whispered in my ear “I take you as you are and you will be. I won’t try to change you but I will ride out change with you. I see you and I will never ask you to be less or more.” With words so charming and full of meaning, that’s how she destroyed me. I have been awed and terrified by the experience of being in love to the extent that when it’s love, I’d rather close the book and put it back on the shelf. I do not know how to hate no matter how much I have been wronged. I met Tuseke when I had gone for my usual check-up at the hospital. She was there to visit her grandmother who was gravely ill and on admission. She had asked for directions to get to the elderly female ward, that was just the same way to Doctor Mayepi’s office. My all time go to health practitioner. We walked hand in hand and talked about a few things on science and medicine. She hated being around the hosp...

LOVE LETTER TO TOBI

  Tobi; You are the chapter that I didn’t know it’s words. No matter what takes place, my heart will always choose you. Like a bedtime story book, I will open my chest and read to you all my love. I said; “I want to relearn love in a beautiful way.” and I knew the universe remembered me the day that I met you. You have given oxygen to the parts of me that were suffocated, energy to my broken bones. Your name belongs at the tip of my tongue, I want to speak of you and with you all day long cause there’s a certain kind of magic in your name. I want to wrap my entire body around yours. I want the love that ravishes and envelops me. My hands long to hold you, to lace my fingers all over your lips, to feel the whole of you on my skin, to breath your scent and fill my lungs with your precious cologne.   Kegi….

STRETCHING MY FAITH

  As I step into this new month, I stretch my faith beyond what I can see, believing in the power of your greatest miracles and divine intervention. I refuse to be limited by the constraints of my own understanding, instead, I choose to trust in your sovereignty and goodness. Your word reminds me that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1), and I cling to this promise, knowing that you are faithful to fulfill your plans for my life. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear, for I know that it is not from you. Instead, I choose to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). I am not defined by my circumstances, but by my identity in you. I proclaim that I am a force to be reckoned with – not because of my own strength, but because of who I am in you. I have poured out, sacrific...

AKAPUSA MUDYERE

Misonzi yachimwemwe idatsikira mmasaya mwa Sitelia kuchoka mmaso mwake. Sadathe kukhulupirira kuti loto lake lakwaniritsidwa. Zinali ngati kuti ali mtulo ndipo ali kulota. Chapatali potero Waisoni adakhala chete mkumaonerera mwambo wonse wa ukwati wa mkazi wake wa kale. Adakumbukira mmene amkamutukwanira komanso kumunyoza mkazi yo pa nthawi imene adali limodzi, mtima wake udagunda koposa ndipo anamva kuwawidwa. Kwa iye mkazi anali kalopo koposa ndipo amkakhulupirira kuti kumtchenetsa mkazi Kapena kumuyambitsa bizinesi kunali kutaya nthawi komanso kuononga ndalama chabe. Tsiku liri lonse Sitelia adali akukhala odandaula ndinso kugona ndi njala limodzi ndi ana ake awiri pamene Waisoni adali kupita kuzisangalalo kumene amakadyako mang'ina, zibwente, tchipisi ndi fuloze. Amkapita kunyumba atakhuta ndipo amkangofikira phiii kugona. Khalidwe li mkazi atafika potopa nalo anayamba kuyenda yenda mnamakasaka chakudya cha iye ndi ana ake ndipo waisoni analibe nazo ntchito. Pamene mkazi yu ada...

CHAPTER 28

The truth failed to set me free. I do not know how to speak the truth without it sounding like an apology, But I am learning to share the room with peace. You said these broken pieces won't fit together, But I have out grown those words and will shrink to fit, For courage has greeted me. Drop me here and leave me be, This is just a chapter not my whole story....