LIVIA'S BOOKLET

“You can never see your reflection in boiling water.” These words have been ringing through my head, living rent-free in my mind, echoing the profound truth that in the midst of turmoil, we often lose sight of who we truly are. Just like boiling water, life's challenges can distort our image, making it impossible to reflect on our true selves. The ripples of adversity, the turbulence of uncertainty, and the heat of intense emotions all conspire to obscure our reflection, leaving us wondering who we are and where we're headed. In the midst of life's storms, it's easy to get caught up in the chaos, to lose ourselves in the turmoil. The waters of our soul become choppy, making it difficult to discern our own reflection. We're forced to navigate the turbulent waters, clinging to whatever stability we can find, as we struggle to stay afloat. And yet, it's precisely in these moments that we're called to find our inner strength, to tap into the depths o...

When you love someone deeply, you never get to prepare for a moment life decides to test that love in unimaginable ways. It's as if love becomes a crucible, a fire that refines and strengthens your bond, pushing you to depths you never thought possible. Love makes you strong, not just in the moments of joy and triumph, But in the darkest of times, when the only thing that keeps you going is the unwavering commitment to care for another. Love teaches you patience, the kind that seeps into your soul and becomes a part of your very being. It's the patience to understand, to empathize, and to stand by someone through the storms of life. Love teaches you devotion, a deep-seated loyalty that isn't swayed by the whims of circumstance. It's the kind of devotion that becomes your north star, guiding you through life's uncertainties. But most profoundly, love teaches you that care is not a duty, but an honor. It's the privilege of being there for someone, of hold...

  Gratitude has been the most persistent emotion I've felt throughout my journey. Even on the bad and terrible days, I've managed to hold onto it. It's a choice, a decision to focus on the good things in life, no matter how small they may seem. And it's a choice that's transformed my life in ways I never thought possible. I've learned to believe in the power of divine timing. I no longer try to rush my life, to force things to happen according to my own schedule. Instead, I've learned to trust in the natural flow of life, to trust that everything is unfolding as it should. And in that trust, I've found a sense of peace, a sense of calm. One thing I've come to realize is that you don't always need a plan. Sometimes, you just need a pause, a moment to breathe. A chance to listen to yourself, to tune in to your own needs and desires. It's okay to slow down, to take a step back and reevaluate your priorities. Giving yourself permiss...

In the silence of my suffering - I met God. It wasn't just in the spotlight. It was on the hospital bed, In the middle of the marital crisis, when the bank account hit zero, and when depression and anxiety couldn't lift; that was when I met Him. Not too loud, but real. Not flashy but faithful. He never waited till I was strong; He just showed up. All Gentle - Quiet - Present - Comforting. Not everything was fixed overnight but He gave me a deeper - kinder present; His peace - His nearness. In those moments of desperation, I realized that God's presence isn't about grand gestures or dramatic interventions. It's about His gentle whisper in the darkness, His comforting presence in the midst of pain. It's about finding solace in His nearness, even when everything else seems to be falling apart. As I reflect on those moments, I realize that God's faithfulness isn't dependent on my circumstances. He's not a God who's only present in the good ti...

  Embracing your authentic self is a journey, not a destination. It's a process of discovery, of growth, of exploration. It's about being true to who you are, and what you believe in. It's about being honest, and real. It's about being vulnerable, and open. And it's about being brave, and courageous. When you embrace your authentic self, you will find a sense of freedom. A sense of liberation. A sense of joy, and happiness. You will find that you are able to be yourself, without apology. You will find that you are able to live life on your own terms. And you will find that you are able to make a difference in the world, in your own unique way. Embracing your authentic self means letting go of the need for validation from others. It means being okay with not being perfect. It means being willing to take risks, and to try new things. It means being open to feedback, and to criticism. And it means being kind to yourself, and compassionate. When you ar...

  "Maybe you need to start counting your blessings more often, Instead of focusing on what’s missing….." Nobody talks about the seasons where you did everything right, Those seasons you prayed - fasted - obeyed, but things still got harder to fight. The kind of seasons that tested your surrender, And made you question the whereabouts of God, and wonder. But even when it feels like nothing is working, He is still moving; because God? God has been constant. He still stays - He still shows up - He still whispers peace into chaos, And in the silence, His presence is made known. In the darkness, He is the light that shines, A beacon of hope, that guides me through the night's signs. He's the whisper in the wind, the gentle breeze that soothes, A reminder that He's always with me, even when I'm lost in doubts. He's the unseen movement, the quiet strength that holds, The gentle guidance that molds, and shapes my soul. He's the still, smal...

Survival is not just about getting through; it's about thriving. It's about finding a way to heal, to grow, and to flourish. It's about discovering a strength and resilience you never knew you had. And it's about celebrating every victory, no matter how small it may seem. Every step forward is a testament to your courage and determination. Every challenge overcome is a badge of honor. And every triumph is a reminder that you are capable of more than you ever thought possible. Survival is about perseverance, about grit, and about determination. It's about finding a way to keep going, even when the road ahead seems uncertain. It's about learning to adapt, to adjust, and to overcome. And it's about discovering a sense of purpose and meaning, even in the midst of adversity. When you survive, you learn to appreciate the little things in life. You learn to cherish every moment, every breath, and every opportunity. You learn to live in the present, and ...

  I am burning sage, and my husband says it's irritating his skin. Perhaps, is he a demon? The Demon's Delight Oh, dear demon, if you're hiding within Come forth and reveal, let the sage smoke spin A web of protection, a shield of light To keep you at bay, through the dark of night But if you're just my love, with skin so fair Then come, dear husband, let's show we care For each other's quirks, and each other's soul In this dance of love, we'll make our spirit whole.

  Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor (GIST) is a rare cancer that affects the digestive system. It starts in the walls of the digestive tract, often in the stomach or small intestine. GIST can be challenging to diagnose, as symptoms may be vague or similar to other conditions. “Early detection and treatment can significantly improve outcomes for patients with GIST. Awareness and education are key to promoting better understanding and care for those affected by this rare cancer.” I am a warrior, with a scarred heart A fighter against GIST, a brand new start I've faced the darkness, I've seen the light I've fought to live, through the darkest night The tumor's grip, it tried to hold But I refused, to let it unfold I chose to fight, I chose to rise To beat the odds, to open my eyes The treatments raged, like a stormy sea But I anchored down, in hope and glee I held on tight, to every thread Of life, of love, of every breath But GIST awareness, it's still...

  Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor (GIST) is a rare type of cancer that occurs in the digestive tract, most commonly in the stomach or small intestine. It originates from specialized cells called interstitial cells of Cajal or their precursors. GIST can vary in severity, from small, benign tumors to large, malignant ones. Symptoms may include: - Abdominal pain or discomfort - Bleeding in the digestive tract - Feeling full quickly while eating - Nausea and vomiting Treatment options depend on the size, location, and aggressiveness of the tumor, and may include: - Surgery to remove the tumor - Targeted therapy with medications like tyrosine kinase inhibitors - Clinical trials for new treatments Awareness and early detection are crucial for improving outcomes for patients with GIST. “Let’s Raise GIST Awareness together.” In the shadows, a war is fought A battle against GIST, a rare and silent thought A tumor grows, unseen and slow A threat to life, that few may know ...

  In a world that's loud, we often hide Our true selves, our struggles, our inner tide We're afraid to speak, to be ourselves Lest we're rejected, or judged by others' wealth But silence is a prison, that holds us tight A weight that presses, day and endless night It's time to break free, to shatter the glass To speak our truth, and let our voices pass Talk to us, and hear our story Of struggles, of pain, of victory We'll share our journey, our fears, our might And together, we'll shine with new light Our words, like bridges, will connect and bind Us together, in a bond of mind Let's talk, let's listen, let's be brave For in our words, our hearts will crave

  In silence, I suffer, alone and afraid My thoughts and feelings, locked deep within my shade The weight of my struggles, a burden I bear A heavy heart, that longs to share But fear of judgment, holds me back Afraid to speak, lest I am attacked My words, like stones, thrown into the night Hoping someone, will hear my plight My mental health, a fragile thread Easily broken, but also mended ahead For in my words, my heart will find peace - I hope

  The chapter ends, the page turns cold A heartbreak's lesson, a story to be told We part ways, with no regrets Gratitude remains, for what we've met Like June's end, we close the door On memories, on love, on what we explored No sorrows linger, no bitter taste Just appreciation, for the time we've chased We learned to love, we learned to let go Our hearts, though broken, still beat slow We'll cherish moments, we'll honor the past And wish each other well, at last In ending things, we find a peace A closure that our hearts can release No hard feelings, no lingering pain Just gratitude, for love that remained.

  I am not just the storm, I am the entire sky. My heart is painted with hues of indigo, a deep, mysterious shade that reflects the turmoil within me. I weep until rivers overflow, my emotions spilling over like a relentless downpour. The pain and the sorrow, the joy and the love – everything pours out of me like a never-ending storm. But amidst the chaos, I find my strength. I am the thunder and the lightning – my light always finds a way to burst through any cloud. The rumble of thunder is my voice, loud and clear, shaking the foundations of the earth. The lightning is my spark, illuminating the darkness and guiding me through the most turbulent of times. In the midst of the storm, I find my calm. The eye of the hurricane is my peace, a stillness that lies at the center of the chaos. That’s where I find my clarity, my purpose, and my strength. From this place, I can weather any storm, no matter how fierce or unforgiving. I am the sky, vast and expansive, with room fo...

  He has always been the giver, always pouring his heart into everything he does, offering support and kindness with a generosity that knows no bounds. His presence is a balm to the weary soul, a reminder that there is still good in the world. He gives without expectation, without condition, and without apology. His heart is a wellspring of love, overflowing with compassion and empathy. I wonder what grief would write about him if it were to scribble onto paper after he’s finally fallen asleep. Maybe something like; “Learn to count your blessings without denying your problems. You don’t have to choose between gratitude and struggle. Both can coexist, and you can thank the sunrise while facing the storm. Just breathe.” These words would be penned in the tears of sorrow, a reflection of the pain and the beauty that he embodied. In his absence, the world seems a little darker, a little quieter. The weight of his departure settles heavy on the hearts of those who loved him. ...

  Grief still sits in every corner of all the rooms in my house. It has lungs and a heartbeat, and it has grown into an everlasting thing. It's a living, breathing entity that has taken up residence within me, a constant reminder of what I've lost. It's a weight that presses down upon my chest, making it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to be. It's been months since the silence fell, since the laughter stopped, since the tears dried up. But grief remains, a persistent and unwelcome guest that refuses to leave. It has revealed who truly stays, even when silence is all I had to offer. Some have come and gone, their visits brief and fleeting. Others have stayed, their presence a steady hum in the background of my life. Grief has a way of testing relationships, of revealing the depth of people's love and commitment. It's a crucible that refines the metal of our connections, separating the true from the false. And I've been grateful for those who ha...

  As I step into this new month, I stretch my faith beyond what I can see, believing in the power of your greatest miracles and divine intervention. I refuse to be limited by the constraints of my own understanding, instead, I choose to trust in your sovereignty and goodness. Your word reminds me that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1), and I cling to this promise, knowing that you are faithful to fulfill your plans for my life. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear, for I know that it is not from you. Instead, I choose to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). I am not defined by my circumstances, but by my identity in you. I proclaim that I am a force to be reckoned with – not because of my own strength, but because of who I am in you. I have poured out, sacrific...

  My heart yearns to be carried better, to be lifted by the gentle breeze of time, rather than being weighed down by the anchors of memories. But how do I forget everything so easily and never want to go down the memories ever again? The memories that once brought me so much joy, so much life, and now feel like a burden, a weight that I carry with me every step of the way. I think of all the passion, the fire, and the love that once burned brightly within me. I think of the way my heart used to swell with emotion, the way my soul used to sing with joy. But now, those same memories feel like a reminder of what's lost, of what's gone, of what could never be again. I have broken my own heart, piece by piece, because I know that there are some things that need to leave, some goodbyes that need to happen. It's a painful process, one that I've cringed at every step of the way. But I know it's necessary, like pruning a garden to make way for new growth. I want to k...

  Stop being the one who carries everyone's expectations, the weight of which threatens to suffocate your true self. Stop editing your personality to fit someone else's idea of love, and instead, let your authentic self-shine. Refuse to measure your worth by society's ruler, which often prioritizes conformity over individuality. Learn to respect your boundaries, treating them like sacred lines that protect your heart and soul. Don't let your goals and dreams remain distant stars; bring them closer, and make them a guiding force in your life. Stop burning yourself to ashes just to keep everyone else warm. Your own flame is worth nurturing, and your light is needed in the world. Let go of the need for validation from others and instead, find validation within yourself. Stop collecting fake smiles like souvenirs, and let your true emotions shine through. Your soul screams for authenticity, and it's time to listen. Let go of the weight that's holding you b...

  Sometimes, we find ourselves stuck in a cycle, reliving the same situations, the same struggles, the same heartaches, over and over again. It's as if we're trapped in a never-ending loop, unable to break free. But then, something shifts. We reach a tipping point, a moment of clarity, where we realize that it's time to do things differently. We begin to let go, to release the weight of our burdens, to surrender the need for control. But at times, letting go doesn't happen with a grand gesture or a dramatic revelation. It happens quietly, so quietly that you might not even notice its happening. You might look back and wonder when it even started, when the weight began to lift, when the burden became bearable. It's a subtle shift, a gentle release, a soft whisper in the darkness. Letting go isn't victory; it's surrender. It's realizing that holding on has only ever been a slow form of breaking. We've been clinging to something, someone, or some id...

I've been labelled strong, a title that carries both weight and misconception. I've survived things that felt like they were meant to kill me, to break me, to erase me from existence. The memory of it is exhausting, a heavy burden that I've carried for far too long. It's like a perpetual fog that clings to my skin, making my eyes heavy with the weight of it all. The world around me seems to be in constant motion, pushing me over, pulling me down, gripping my ankles like an unforgiving vice, never letting me take one step forward. And if this is what you call strong, I don’t want it. I don’t want to be defined by my ability to withstand pain, to endure suffering, to survive against all odds. Because most nights, I fear that my ribs will break from being crushed beneath the weight of it all. I fear that the cracks will spread, that the fractures will deepen, and that I'll shatter into a million pieces, never to be whole again. But here's the truth: I am not strong...

  Everybody looks okay until you have a deep conversation with them. You get to realize that a lot of people are sad and struggling to make it – surviving through fake smiling faces, pretty pictures, loud music, and bottles of alcohol. Behind the façade, there's often a soul yearning for connection, understanding, and peace. You wear a smile, but it’s the kind of smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes – the kind that hides the weight of sorrow you’re carrying. It's a mask that shields you from judgment, from being seen as vulnerable, or from being a burden to others. But beneath the surface, you're fighting silent battles, navigating overwhelming moments, and struggling to find your footing. A part of you wishes to do more, to reach out and offer a helping hand, to be the safe haven for someone who's struggling. But it's tough, because as much as you want to do something about it, there’s this feeling of helplessness that sits with you. You can't take away...

You took a piece of me with you, Left me shattered, broken, and blue. They whisper, "Move on, let go," But how can I when you're the one I know? Life without you is a hollowed space, A grief that's visceral, a heart that can't replace.

In losing you, I lost my anchor, Drifting now, without a shore. They expect silence, but I'll speak your name, For in the memories, you're still the same. I miss the life we shared, the laughter and the tears, A bittersweet reminder of what we had for years.

I'd have given a limb for you to see the shape of your hand, to see how shiny your eyes would be to hear the sound of your voice and watch the beauty of your steps. My world collapsed around me, the clock kept ticking, I felt frozen in time - stuck between disbelief and sadness - carrying the weight of missing you. And now; To that moment of change which is always painful, where something shifts inside you and you feel like a part of you is forever altered. The bittersweet truth is;  Time doesn't erase pain, It teaches us how to carry it.  

Losing you, I lost my way, Died a little each day. They say time heals, but I'm still searching, For life before your absence left its mark. I'll speak of you, though they may not understand, For in memories, you're still here, and that's all I have.

When you went, a part of me went dark, A light extinguished, leaving only spark. They say I'll heal, but I'm still in pain, Longing for life before the loss, the strain. I'll hold on to memories, though they bring tears, For in remembering, you're still near.

  Lately, I've been gentle with myself, taking the time to meet the parts of me I've been at war with. The other day, I sat with the version of me that felt utterly alone. I let her express herself freely – yelling, crying, releasing all the emotions she'd been holding inside. I didn't rush her or tell her to be strong. Instead, I reminded her that she deserves warm words, soft arms, a safe space, and undivided love. Earlier this week, I had a heartfelt conversation with the version of me that savors solitude. We watched the sunset together, and I marveled at the childlike curiosity reflected in her eyes. Her smiles were contagious, and despite the broken pieces that pierced her skin, she exuded confidence. Yet nobody knows that she cries secretly. Yesterday, I met the quieter version of me – the one who tells many stories but rarely shares her own. I listened intently as she whispered her thoughts, and I listened even more closely to her silence. ...

I have made peace with all the women I once was. I have poured incense and honey, layered flowers at their feet. I used to judge and criticize, to tear myself apart, But now I see the beauty in each fragile, fractured heart. I offer kindness and compassion, a gentle, loving touch, Embracing every aspect, every quirk and every clutch. With self-love as my guiding light, I navigate life's twists and turns, Accepting each chapter, each verse, and each lesson that I learn. I am a work of art, a masterpiece in progress, you see, A beautiful, complex, and ever-evolving tapestry

I have made peace with all the women I once was. I have poured incense and honey, layered flowers at their feet. The weight of memories, the burden of pain, I release it all, like autumn leaves that wither and wane. I let go of the shame, the guilt, and the fear, Embracing the freedom that comes with each passing year. As I heal and release, I make space for the new, A chance to rediscover, to renew, and to break through. I honor the women I've been, and the one I'm yet to be, A phoenix rising, reborn from the ashes of me.

  I have made peace with all the women I once was. I have poured incense and honey, layered flowers at their feet. I celebrate the warriors, the survivors, and the thrivers, The women who paved the way, and those who continue to strive. I draw strength from their stories, from their courage and might, Embracing my own power, my voice, and my light. With every step, I claim my space, my identity, and my name, I am a force of nature, a storm that will not be tamed. I am the sum of all the women I've been, and the one I'm becoming too, A powerful, fierce, and unapologetic woman, rising anew.

  I have made peace with all the women I once was. I have poured incense and honey, layered flowers at their feet. In reflection, I see the paths I've walked, The trials and the triumphs, the lessons learned and talked. I honor each iteration, every step and every fall, For they have led me to this moment, where I stand tall. With every breath, I integrate the wisdom of my past, Embracing the strength and resilience that will forever last. I celebrate the women I've been, and the one I'm becoming too, A tapestry of experiences, woven into a story anew.