My heart yearns to be
carried better, to be lifted by the gentle breeze of time, rather than being
weighed down by the anchors of memories.
But how do I forget everything so easily and never want to go down the memories
ever again? The memories that once brought me so much joy, so much life, and
now feel like a burden, a weight that I carry with me every step of the way.
I think of all the
passion, the fire, and the love that once burned brightly within me. I think of
the way my heart used to swell with emotion, the way my soul used to sing with
joy. But now, those same memories feel like a reminder of what's lost, of
what's gone, of what could never be again.
I have broken my own
heart, piece by piece, because I know that there are some things that need to
leave, some goodbyes that need to happen.
It's a painful process, one that I've cringed at every step of the way. But I
know it's necessary, like pruning a garden to make way for new growth.
I want to keep some
memories forever, to treasure them like precious jewels, but I want to save
them somewhere other than my heart and mind. Somewhere I can go and replay
them, revisit them, and relive the emotions, yet not have to remember them
every day. Somewhere I can store them safely, without them weighing me down,
without them defining me.
It's like I want to
create an archive of memories, a library of moments that I've lived, loved, and
laughed.
A place where I can visit and reminisce, but not be consumed by the past.
A place where I can honor the memories, without letting them hold me back.
Perhaps that's what
healing is – finding a way to store the memories, to file them away, to tuck
them into a corner of our minds and hearts, where they can no longer hurt us.
Perhaps that's what forgiveness is – letting go of the need to remember, to
relive, to rehash.
Perhaps that's what growth is – learning to carry our hearts better, to lift
them up, and to make them lighter, so that we can soar.
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