THE WEIGHT OF MEMORIES

 

My heart yearns to be carried better, to be lifted by the gentle breeze of time, rather than being weighed down by the anchors of memories.
But how do I forget everything so easily and never want to go down the memories ever again? The memories that once brought me so much joy, so much life, and now feel like a burden, a weight that I carry with me every step of the way.

I think of all the passion, the fire, and the love that once burned brightly within me. I think of the way my heart used to swell with emotion, the way my soul used to sing with joy. But now, those same memories feel like a reminder of what's lost, of what's gone, of what could never be again.

I have broken my own heart, piece by piece, because I know that there are some things that need to leave, some goodbyes that need to happen.
It's a painful process, one that I've cringed at every step of the way. But I know it's necessary, like pruning a garden to make way for new growth.

I want to keep some memories forever, to treasure them like precious jewels, but I want to save them somewhere other than my heart and mind. Somewhere I can go and replay them, revisit them, and relive the emotions, yet not have to remember them every day. Somewhere I can store them safely, without them weighing me down, without them defining me.

It's like I want to create an archive of memories, a library of moments that I've lived, loved, and laughed.
A place where I can visit and reminisce, but not be consumed by the past.
A place where I can honor the memories, without letting them hold me back.

Perhaps that's what healing is – finding a way to store the memories, to file them away, to tuck them into a corner of our minds and hearts, where they can no longer hurt us. Perhaps that's what forgiveness is – letting go of the need to remember, to relive, to rehash.
Perhaps that's what growth is – learning to carry our hearts better, to lift them up, and to make them lighter, so that we can soar.