LIVIA'S BOOKLET

The year 2024 was a transformative journey, one that taught me happiness isn't always wrapped in milestones. Instead, I found myself carrying a needle and thread, stitching myself back together, trying to conceal the unraveling of my smallest parts. This was the year I poured my heart and soul into something I deeply desired. Yet, I discovered that behind every smile lies a silent battle – we're all fighting to hold ourselves together. In the midst of chaos, I found a wildfire burning within me, a haze in my gaze, and a storm brewing beneath my skin. But I've come to realize that it doesn't matter how loud the world cheers or who's watching – I am where I belong. I am a dream, a vintage melody, a siren's song. This chapter of my life was meant for me to navigate alone, practicing independence and embracing solitude. I bought myself flowers, celebrated my progress, and found pride in every battle I fought. Those struggles weren't gentle, but they were necessa...

This year has been a paradox of survival and loss. Even the most breathtaking sunsets have felt bittersweet, reminders of the pieces of myself I've left behind. I've made it through the storms, but not without scars. My joy, faith, patience, self-esteem, hope, and purpose – all have been tested and tried. I've taken the road less traveled, hoping for a shorter, more peaceful path. Yet, I wonder who I would have become without the weight of these experiences. This year has taught me that happiness isn't always tied to milestones or achievements. Sometimes, it's found in the simple moments – like sipping coffee on my sofa, free from the need to be anywhere else. Despite all that I've lost, I've also gained so much. I've grown, learned to embrace change, and discovered that even in the darkest moments, I am still here. I'm not sure how I made it to December, but I do know that the imperfections and lessons – even the painful ones – have shaped me into s...

  Never did I imagine that marriage could be this difficult for me. I married a woman whom I timelessly called my best friend. We had a great understanding of each other’s needs and desires. But I am disturbed from the recent change of behaviour and a turn of events. I am losing it. I have been going through sexual violence in my marriage and it’s no lie that my partner needs help. At this moment, I am beginning to suspect that my decision to marry was either haste, wrong and extremely a bad decision. Akante was that sweet girl I kept thanking God over in the very first days of both our relationship and marriage. We had kept ourselves apart on sexual issues until the night of our wedding. Our first sex escapede was great and gentle, nothing to worry about until three months over it when Akante made me resort to certain kind of weird sex positions and experiences and it’s been giving me sleepless nights and making my days uncomfortable. “Sex is a crucial part in marriage.” I read th...

Did you know? Two in six women and two in eight men experience violence  in their lifetime? Violence  is one of the most pressing human and societal problems. Either domestic, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, mental, physical and more. Violence  is subtle and it is sneaky. Most abusers are cunning and manipulative. They are aware of what’s going on and what they are doing. Most people abuse to gain control or power over their spouses or partners. Over 60% of cases in the family courts involve ‘gender violence.’ Most marriages and relationships are going through a different type of violence; some blame it on culture but gender violence can never be justified by cultural norms. Cultural beliefs shouldn’t be an excuse for inflicting pain or fear upon others. There is a difference between a person who hurts you by making a mistake, and a person who hurts you by continuing a pattern. Mistakes can be forgiven. Patterns must be broken. – Ella Hicks And one thing to p...

As we observe the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, I'm reminded of the often-overlooked reality of domestic abuse against men. The world tells us that men can't be victims of abuse, that we're always the perpetrators. But I'm here to tell you that's a myth. My marriage to Zanille was picture-perfect, or so it seemed. We had a beautiful wedding, and everything appeared normal. But behind closed doors, I endured physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Five months into our marriage, Zanille started complaining about various things. She wanted new clothes, accessories, and luxury items, despite having everything she needed. I tried to reason with her, but she became aggressive and accusatory. The abuse escalated over time. Zanille would insult me, beat me, and humiliate me in front of our househelp. I was trapped in a living nightmare. I had no one to turn to, and I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I confided in my friends Wilford and Simon, but the...

Twelve years have passed since my father left my side, but the ache of his absence remains. It's a hollowed-out feeling that echoes through every moment, a reminder of the love and laughter we shared. His passing left an unfillable void, a chasm that can never be bridged. Yet, even in death, his presence continues to shape me. His love, his guidance, and his unwavering support remain the north star that navigates me through life's turbulent waters. As I navigate the complexities of life without him, I'm reminded that grief is a journey, not a destination. It's a path that winds and twists, sometimes leading me through dark valleys, other times guiding me to breathtaking vistas. But even in the darkest moments, I find solace in the memories we created together. I find strength in the values he instilled in me, and I find comfort in the knowledge that his love will always be with me. So as I mark this twelfth year without him, I want him to know that I'm still feeling...

Today marks twelve years since my dad passed, but his memory remains alive and vibrant, just like the life he lived. His passing left a gaping hole in our lives, but it also left us with a treasure trove of memories, lessons, and love. He was a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy, enthusiasm, and joy. His infectious laughter, his bright smile, and his generous spirit drew people to him like a magnet. He had a heart of gold, always willing to lend a helping hand, offer a listening ear, or provide a comforting presence. His faith was his rock, his guiding light, and his source of strength. He lived his Christianity with conviction, compassion, and humility. His love for God and his community was evident in everything he did, From his tireless work ethic to his generous philanthropy. But he wasn't  just a devout Christian; he was also a fun-loving, life-affirming, party-starting machine! He knew how to celebrate life's victories, no matter how small they seemed. He'd throw ...

There are parts of me lost between the pages, Tried to flip through to disguise these wounds. I find solace in the words written without notice, A little healing seeps through, a gentle, quiet progress. But it makes me forget what I deserve, For my stories are hard to read, and my wounds still bleed. They remain strawberry red, a constant reminder, Of the healing yet to come, the journey still to wander. I hope for courage to wrap around my heart, For light to beam atop my head, to heal and never depart. To guide me through the darkness, to lead me to the light, To help me find my voice, my strength, my will to fight.

Your old self was a crucial part of your transformation into the person you are today. It's remarkable how little we recognize our former selves. Sometimes, we need people who are emotionally unavailable to reflect our areas for growth, revealing our tendencies towards self-sacrifice and people-pleasing. Be thankful for those who walked out on you during your darkest moments, those who never showed up, and those who never reached out. Their absence reveals profound truths about connection. A powerful lesson learned is that honesty is the foundation of meaningful relationships. Embracing vulnerability can be intimidating, but genuine connections are forged in honesty. Healing from past traumas isn't just about mending wounds; it's about growing into someone with integrity and self-love. Embrace your journey with courage and grace, and remember that your evolution is a testament to your strength and resilience.

I've lost count of the mornings I've woken up with a sad face, Spending the entire day searching for purpose, a sense of place. They say I'm just a cloud, a fleeting thought, But I am the entire sky, vast and brought. I am the thunder and lightning that rumbles deep, A force that yearns to be felt, to shake and to keep. My light and voice will always find a way, To burst through the clouds, come what may.

The silence surrounding GBV has devastating effects on victims. When survivors are silenced, they are denied the opportunity to share their stories, seek help, and access justice. Silence perpetuates the power dynamics that allow GBV to thrive, enabling perpetrators to continue their abuse without accountability. The consequences of silence are dire: - Increased trauma and suffering for victims - Perpetuation of GBV cycles - Reinforcement of harmful gender stereotypes and norms - Delayed or denied access to essential services and support - Erosion of trust in institutions and communities Breaking the silence is crucial to: - Empower survivors to speak out and seek help - Hold perpetrators accountable for their actions - Create a culture of consent and respect - Provide access to essential services and support - Foster a society that values and upholds human rights and dignity By amplifying survivors' voices and stories, we can create a world where GBV is not toler...