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I RISE


Feels like I am dying tonight.
They never warned me about these moments.
They never told me Healing cannot save me but can only teach me
not to experience pain again - to find peace within. 


Feels like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I haven’t felt like myself in years, my sky is down pouring.
I have tried holding back my emotions
thinking it’s a sign of strength - I am dying.


Some days I am tired till my eyes sting.
Some nights I am filled with heartache and yearning.
I never allow myself the same energy that I radiate
onto others because I am a pretender. 


I don’t need to know if the ending will be a happy one for it is beyond my control.
I don’t need to build walls to keep myself safe or strong.
I am so fragile, I can easily break
I am so overwhelmed, I can explode. 


I have been on probation most of my life.
I have walked through madness and gathered a stronger sense of self.
I will have so much light inside of me one day and
I will run out of places to put it, I will be overflowing. 


With every fibre of my being; I know I am bigger than my body - my soul is rare.
There will never be another me again.
There will be days my lungs will breathe joy for the first time in a long time
There will be days I will heal because that’s what I have been doing my whole life.

 

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