BROKEN PIECES💔 FROM OBWERA - Mental Health file 2210-03

Have met broken men before and

It's a catastrophe.

They all hide their brokenness somewhere for fear of being judged coz the society always labels a man as the strong one

If a man reports abuse/violence/traumas they say " he's too weak to be considered sane."

"Too strong to be sympathized".

But he has demons he's fighting time over time by himself in search of light and freedom with his spirit crushed under trials of life.

BROKEN PIECES FROM OBWERA

Dearest Ndapita,

I am writing this note as part of my broken pieces of which I have been struggling to make whole.

I clearly remember how you said it to my face that "I carry poverty on my skin like birthmarks" and that "men are only good at chapter one of every love story", your words made me hate the mess my emotions brought.

My chest kept feeling heavy at the thought of every memory that had you in it, then, I didn't see the meaning of life - the reason to live. Death was beckoning me every second. Should it be a rope? Staged accident? Or poison in my tea? I have had countless thoughts towards death - suicide got to be my best last option. But I survived all the attempts - another chance to live though with painful memories that still insist sharp objects in my head.

I have sabotaged myself most of the time, I am exhausted but I still want to draw breaths.

I now forgive myself for believing that people can possibly change for you - for giving up my dreams and ambitions just to impress you.

You left - my sanity left me too. There was no meaning in everything around me - Mental breakdown. I go on my knees each time and wonder " If there's any other way to label pain & brokenness, for I wished to extract the aches from every part of me without leaving scars on my skin coz I realized that I have battles to fight, wars to win.

So I got up from the ground and affirmed myself how worthy I was.

I read somewhere that said; " You are worthy the moon, the stars and every glimmer of the world."

Lastly, I thought to let you know that I have charged up my esteem. I am working on my ambitions and dreams. I got tired of the feeling that was hovering over me - the suffocation.

Even when the society says; " A man should always toughen up" I get to say; "A man should refuse to suffer in silence. There's nothing wrong speaking up! Mental health should be a priority!"

Obwera.

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