Skip to main content

BROKEN PIECES💔 FROM EDDIE (For LettersToHer)

"Let's talk about the unhealthy attachments of clinging to someone who has brought misery to us;

It may be too embarrassing to talk about and too much to bare,

But never refuse to face the trauma it has brought to you"


Dearest Lusitania;

This is the first and probably the last letter I am writing to you.

I'm writing with my heart torn, I am bleeding.

I have had people asking me "why I attach myself to moments that don't really belong?"

And I read somewhere that said;

"Every single pain is a lesson."

I believed that indeed it is,

Coz;

where you feel vulnerable-you are brave,

Where you feel puniness you are strong.

Someone said;

"One of the kindest things you can do for others is to show your effort."

But here I am, on the verge of madness, I am breaking apart; I wish someone would hold my hand and save me from the cold

to tell me I'll be okay.


I begged you to "hold me one more time, to tell me you loved me and be there" but you laughed out to my face.


I wonder how your heart is, have you found the love of your life yet?

do you ever remember me?

do I still make your heart beat out of your chest? Not any more right?


I realized I fall out of love with you

when I looked at our old pictures and couldn't

recollect anything about us.


I still remember the  day you walked away

from everything we built and burned down

everything in flames just because I said "I want my essence to be in pair with someone's intellectuality even in mundane and bizarre circumstances


So, I write to you for I now believe that

everything has come to an end eventually - The love we shared, the promises we made to each other.

And that I have packed up the trauma and have moved on.


With Love, Without Regrets

Eddie

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

STRETCHING MY FAITH

  As I step into this new month, I stretch my faith beyond what I can see, believing in the power of your greatest miracles and divine intervention. I refuse to be limited by the constraints of my own understanding, instead, I choose to trust in your sovereignty and goodness. Your word reminds me that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1), and I cling to this promise, knowing that you are faithful to fulfill your plans for my life. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear, for I know that it is not from you. Instead, I choose to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). I am not defined by my circumstances, but by my identity in you. I proclaim that I am a force to be reckoned with – not because of my own strength, but because of who I am in you. I have poured out, sacrific...

TANGLED IN SHADOWS

In the depths of my unraveling, I'm tempted to surrender To the siren's whisper, a numbing, sweet thunder I'd trade the ache of awareness for the calm of the grave But the echoes of my heartbeat whisper, "You still crave". To breathe, to feel, to hurt, to rise, to fall The noose of my past tightens, a relentless, cruel call I'm suffocating under the weight of what I've done A prisoner of my memories, forever undone. The ghosts of my yesterday haunt me, a relentless crew Reminding me of the shards I've yet to glue I'm searching for a way out, a glimmer of light But the shadows they surround me, a perpetual night. In this darkness, I'm lost, a wanderer without a map The stars that once guided me, now just a distant trap I'm clingling to the fragments, the broken, shattered me Praying for a miracle, a chance to be set free. But what if the weight of my chains is what keeps me tied? What if the pain is the only thing that m...

THE GENTLE PRESENCE

In the silence of my suffering - I met God. It wasn't just in the spotlight. It was on the hospital bed, In the middle of the marital crisis, when the bank account hit zero, and when depression and anxiety couldn't lift; that was when I met Him. Not too loud, but real. Not flashy but faithful. He never waited till I was strong; He just showed up. All Gentle - Quiet - Present - Comforting. Not everything was fixed overnight but He gave me a deeper - kinder present; His peace - His nearness. In those moments of desperation, I realized that God's presence isn't about grand gestures or dramatic interventions. It's about His gentle whisper in the darkness, His comforting presence in the midst of pain. It's about finding solace in His nearness, even when everything else seems to be falling apart. As I reflect on those moments, I realize that God's faithfulness isn't dependent on my circumstances. He's not a God who's only present in the good ti...

LET’S TALK ABOUT SUICIDE DISEASE TODAY!!

Society thinks someone who is suicidal is a person who is crying uncontrollably every moment, engaging in dangerous activities and constantly in a bad state. At times, it’s the complete opposite. Persons who are suicidal may not act it at all. Suicide is not selfish. It is normally death caused by the illness of depression. It is the final symptom, a final collapse under unbearable weight. I read somewhere that said; “ Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socialising. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.” Many people who suffer with poor mental health do actually reach out and are either ignored, fobbed off with high dosage medications or put on waiting lists for months. Such scenarios have a probability of leading on...

AWAKENING: STORIES UNTOLD, STORIES UNHEARD AND STORIES UNREAD

Correct me if I am wrong, but I remember all the words you like to say behind closed doors. She whispered in my ear “I take you as you are and you will be. I won’t try to change you but I will ride out change with you. I see you and I will never ask you to be less or more.” With words so charming and full of meaning, that’s how she destroyed me. I have been awed and terrified by the experience of being in love to the extent that when it’s love, I’d rather close the book and put it back on the shelf. I do not know how to hate no matter how much I have been wronged. I met Tuseke when I had gone for my usual check-up at the hospital. She was there to visit her grandmother who was gravely ill and on admission. She had asked for directions to get to the elderly female ward, that was just the same way to Doctor Mayepi’s office. My all time go to health practitioner. We walked hand in hand and talked about a few things on science and medicine. She hated being around the hosp...