It’s been
ninety-nine days since I last heard your voice
and I do not know what it felt like to hear my name slipping off your mouth.
They say ‘time heals’ but they are lying. Time heals absolutely nothing.
The pain of yesterday aches every day
and you became an emotional arthritis patient.
Your joints are stiff with memories that make you crippled
upto such an extent that you can barely walk or feel.
I am
listening to the call recordings over and over again
for the last two and a half hours and I have memorized all of it by heart.
Now, after your voice, I pause the recording to tell it myself
then skip my part and play to hear your reply.
We all are indeed stupid fools in love.
Only if I knew the last time we talked would be the last time I would hear your
voice,
then I would not have kept the call ever since.
John
Green once wrote “You cannot love someone as much as you miss them”,
and suddenly, I felt tears cornering the edges of my eyes and then trickling
down as a heavy downpour.
Time is layering over the wounds like the skin forming over granulation tissue
just so I can prick at it to make it bleed once again
and just simply not to heal.
And I realize that;
In a room full of me and our memories, time is mocking at me.
Healing
and getting over are anonymous to me as I choose to fall in love with my grief.
This is a toxic relationship they say, an affair with the sorrow but I’m
certainly not buying it.
Everyone left already but my grief stayed,
So; may be this is what forever means.
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